CHRISTCHURCH HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

On On & Welcome Please be aware we have moved to a new website: http://hashchch.weebly.com

PLEASE BE AWARE WE HAVE MOVED TO A NEW WEBSITE:

http://hashchch.weebly.com/

Welcome to Christchurch H3! Founded on 12 November 1979 by Rub Me Knob, General Teeth, Human Dynamo and GUB, we are a mixed club with an average pack between 20 and 25, catering for all means of athleticism. We run every Monday night at 6.30pm starting at various venues in and around Christchurch. If you want to sponge a ride to hash, contact one of the following below. Look forward to you seeing at our very friendly and fun club. All new members are extremely welcome!

Contacts

RLD - Nan Patrick

Hm: 03-382-1994

Mob: 021-044-6091

Wrk: 03-3531-821

nan.rld@clear.net.nz

Ding-A-Ling - Perry Buist

Mob: 027-295-8881

pbuist@xtra.co.nz

Other Hash Links

Garden City H3: http://gch3.weebly.com/

NZ Hash:

http://www.nzhhh.co.nz/

Events

Find details of additional hash events at NZ Hash: http://www.nzhhh.co.nz/

November 2012 ~ Duck Itch, Aarfabithore & Dildo’s Epic 150^th Birthday Party in Abu Dhabi
(Duck Itch 60 + Aarfabithroe 50 + Dildo 40 = 150)
Cum for the booze, food and great company. You can camp on the lawn or in the lounge, but you have to cum up with your own airfare.
“Seriously, though, if anyone has plans to come this way for the F1 weekend (2 through 4 November), which will be either the weekend before or after the party, and look at the local culture and the world's biggest/best/first/most expensive sh*t the Arabs own, we’d love to see them here!” -Dildo xxx (Email janinejaninejellybean@gmail.com for all the details.)

Thursday, 14 February 2013 ~ Fat Catz Run, Nelson

Friday, 15 February, through Sunday, 17 February 2013 ~ New Zealand Nash Hash hosted by Nelson H3, Pinedale Motor Camp, 820 Wakamarina Valley, Canvastown (http://www.nznashhash.co.nz/)

Friday, 3 May, through Sunday, 5 May 2013 ~ Aussie Nash Hash, Brisbane (http://www.nashhash2013.com/)

Friday, 5 July, through Sunday, 7 July 2013 ~ 14th Pan Asia Hash, Pattaya, Thailand (http://www.panasia2013.com/)

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Haberdashery

A big THANKS to all who contributed to the Christchurch Earthquake Fund with your purchases of patches and hasher-name necklaces in 2011!

You always need more hash gear, so contact STD (kkirchners@gmail.com) for the very best.

Hasher-Name Necklace
STD custom makes each necklace with a bit of hussy love just for you!
A steal at $10.00 each

CH2H3 Official Patch (on a black oval with ram logo, as seen at the top left of this webpage)
This is the coolest hash patch around!
Worth it at $8.50 each

Red Lanyard “CH2H3 ON ON” (stamped in black letters)
No need to panic, as this lanyard is great for those away weekends when you don't want your pannikin to get lost!
Only $6.50 each

Black Lanyard “CH2H3 ON ON” (in multi-coloured foam letters)
This lanyard is for those wanting to make a bold statement!
Just $7.50 each

Beanie
This beanie is just great for keeping the old noggin warm in winter. Embroidered with the CH2H3 ram logo, each hat is black with a red stripe.
Limited stock at only $15.00 each

CH2H3 Collared/Polo-Style Shirt
Order the CH2H3 black-and-red shirt in any size: women’s sizes 8-22, men’s sizes S-7XL.
Current stock may be limited, but STD can get you any size within a couple of weeks.
$35.00 each / 2XL and larger $40.00 each
Each shirt comes embroidered with the CH2H3 ram logo, and for only $5.00 more (per shirt), add your awesome hash name!

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Weekly Trash

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Klingon’s Wild Wet Wander

The weather kept a few home but the brave donned the wet weather gear and gathered at KLINGON’s abode greeted by an excited little furry fella who tried to maul every new face that came in the door.

As much as we tried to say “lets go to the pub for a quiz night!” KLINGON shoved us all out in the rain and told us to turn right at the end of the gate.

DING-A-LING was donned with a map as much use that was! He’s spent far too much time in Auckland he’s forgotten what a ChCh map looks like! When VIAGRA guided RLD across the road it looked like the quiz night at the pub was actually going to eventuate! Or was it a night in KFC cause that’s where we were at the time we discovered that DING-A-LING was totally useless at reading a map! Or, was it just a tease and we were about to On-Home? No, darn it! We turned left down Hercules St into the unknown. VIAGRA who should have been following the footsteps of RLD but didn’t, walked straight into a puddle the size of a lake and we also lost VIAGRA for good! As me (RLD) was mainly tail-end Charlie I didn’t really know that DING-A-LING couldn’t read maps for the life of him until we gathered at the first PS. Before that though we meandered around the streets of Shirley, past Acheron Street shops, north down Hills Rd and then us wise one’s short-cutted through MacFarlane Park to find the 1st PS.

DING-A-LING was abused for lack of map reading knowledge along with KTT who was just as useless at it too. Furry little Toby was looking more like a drowned rat and felt it’s owner KTT should be reported to the SPCA for cruelty of a little drown rat-looking dog on such a crap night of wet weather. He didn’t even have a raincoat the poor little thing, just a jersey. He showed his disgust so much he had a real classic poop on the run and as KTT only had one poo bag the poor dog had to waddle it’s way home in fret of pooing himself again just because his owner didn’t take an extra bag – he’s a dog for god sake – they poop at least 3 times on a run – look at Wag!!!

An executive decision was to shorten the run because of the rain and the drowned furry rat-looking dog needing another poop without a doggy bag. All except of DING-A-LING who obviously had been in Auckland too long and needed to run abit. So off he ran with all his friends.

Back at the house, Phil is doing a fine job as kitchen-bitch, Toby the dog has gone and done a dump he’d been hanging onto on KLINGON’s lawn and we talked about the meaning of life – well, think it was that.

Fines circle was held outside under a gazebo. Few fines that I could remember were:
KINGON – hare and provided shit weather for it!
SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE & EZEE RYDER – 12 runs
VIAGRA – falling into a puddle
KTT – making her poor dog wait until we got home to have his second poop.
DING-A-LING & KTT – useless map readers
RLD & EZEE RYDER – showing DING-A-LING how much he was missed
DING-A-LING & VIAGRA – Group Hugs
PHIL – kitchen bitch
Lots of others but I’d only offered to write the trash after the Circle was finished so wasn’t taking a lot of notice!

Boots off and all back inside for a yummy feast of rice, salad, pita bread and Indian chicken.

After all that we decided to head off home, all except SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE who thought she was going to have to stay the night cause she’d lost her keys but after ransacking the house she found them where she’d put them – in her hash bag.

Kookn Titx Souvlaki Extravangza 23rd July
The weather gods threaten as we congregated at KOOKN TITS abode to find her busy as a bee in the little blue trailer. A fire was roaring in the back yard, although many found it hard to venture out of the warmth of the kitchen.

Numbers were down this week but we were directed on our way out the gate where some didn’t know their lefts from their rights. As we meandered around the streets of Sydenham we found ourselves going along Ashgrove Tce and along the river track in the dark and creepy bits. First PS was found at the end of Ernlea Tce where we warmed our hearts with some mulled wine and treats.

Not sure where the rest went from there as I did my usual and auto-hashed to FLAPPER’s abode where BRICK scared the sh*t out of all the pussies in the area.

Couple of beers and a quiz to see how many kittens FLAPPER has stashed in her house and then it was On Home from there.

KOOKN TITS was cooking up a storm in the little blue trailer and some warmed their hearts by the fire where the rest of us found the comfort of the heat inside.

Fines made us all go outside, even BAGSHAG. Some that I remember were:
KOOKN TITZ & FLAPPER – Hare and co-Hare
BOOBS – not admitting that she had a hash name on her first run last week
WANK PLANK – for also not admitting that she had a hash name.
VIAGRA – for saying to BOOBS when finding out her hash name “How did you get them”
BAGSHAG & FIGID – for having a romantic day in Hanmer
BRICK SHEITHOUSE – for scaring a pussy. There’s something about BRICK and pussies on KOOKN TITS runs!

Rest I can’t remember.

Then it was the highlight of the night when we lined up outside the little blue trailer to be treated to souvalakis! Yummmy! Then we had the best scones ever with whipped cream and jam.

Great night KOOKN TITS!

Small Black & Bolyx’s Run – 16th July
A good crew gathered out at Sumner on a wild windy night. Knowing that there would be no hills (caused they’re all munted in Sumner) it was going to be a merry-go round type of trail.

WANK PLANK turns up with his long lost daughter from Perth, Tyla (later like the following week we found she actually had a Hash name).

Trail set off at a roaring pace with the runner, OO7 and BEEP BEEP showing the way. Us walkers just, well, we just walked!

Round a few streets with a PS by Leonard Park. OO7 and BEEP were sent off into the darkness, hand in hand (oh, aint love sweet!). RLD strolled down her old street to have a look at her first flat in Christchurch. By this time KOOKN TITS and RLD had lost the pack (seems to be becoming a trend don’t you think?), After having a pee in the bush by the school and not being spotted by runners OO7 and BEEP we tried to find trail. No calling so instead KOOK TITS and I had a wee peep through the containers for a view of SMALL BLACK and BOLYX’s old place in Wakefield Ave only to notice that the lawns and gardens hadn’t been done! Shocking!

So, it was On Home for us two while the rest found another PS along the Beach (we heard no calling so didn’t know where they went). Back at the house, RLD finds out how to shut the gate by remote, only to lock all hashers out on their return! They didn’t think it was funny but I did! Thought it was hilarious!

Fines circle again (no notes as I still wasn’t suppose to be writing this Trash!).

Crutch-Itch’s Birthday Circus Run – 9th July
A chilly night greeted us for CRUTCH’s run and after stepping inside to a toastie warm house no one wanted to venture out again. But, as usual, the Hare pokes and prods us out the door and down the driveway.

We head toward Prestons Rd and round and through a closed Road with a Security Guard. ORFUL FUK was adamant that we shouldn’t go in there but off we strolled into the darkness into unknown, territory. God knows where we were as I was totally lost and confused in my Russian hat.

CRUTCH appeared at a gate with beer. As it was a very chilly night we didn’t hold the PS for too long and he sent everyone on their way. Through streets of Qeenspark and Parklands. SKIDZ and TASTE come upon a couple antique gems and walked down the street looking like escapees from Sunnyside with a couple of tables over their heads. Certainly did get some strange looks from the public!

Another PS appeared from nowhere and this time I intended in getting in the van as I was cold, tired and it was just tradition!

On Home back to the warmth and yay to CRUTCH for having the fines circle inside, Can’t remember the fines as it was so long ago and as I wasn’t suppose to be writing this Trash I didn’t take notes!

The Stick went to ORFUL FUK for something to do with the Security man.

Sauce for the Goose – 2nd July
Well, after a brilliant weekend at Winter Camp there were a good keen group who turned up in the CBD at SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE’s abode. Many tales of the weekend were told as we waited for the OnOn to be called. As OO7 had set the run god knows what we were in for!

But, off we went heading into the city around the munted bits. MOLE happended to come across a German Tank and tried to track down ORFUL FUK to see if he wanted to go to war with it. Part of the trail veered off down Gloucester Street so we could have a view of the ruined Cathedral. From here, don’t really know much about the run as MOLE, TASTE, SKIDZ and RLD lost everyone, lost trail and lost any hearing of any calling being made. MOLE took us on our own trail in and around Cranmer Square and down along the park.

Once we found out where the pack had ventured we thought it was far to far to catch them up so OnOn Homed and jumped in the car along with SAUCE’s flatmate Dorothy or Gladys (can’t remember) and headed off to find the pack. After getting lost (it was becoming a habit by now) we headed back home only to see the pack heading into Hagley Park towards home.

Fines were in the garage with an arrange of fines dished out from the weekend with lost property, winner and losers, SAUCE for the Hare and OO7 for co-haring the run etc. Others I don’t remember cause as you’ll know I wasn’t suppose to be writing the Trash!

The Stick went to KTT for needing it for when she had a piddle somewhere or something like that. I wasn’t taking notes remember!

After feeding our faces abit more sh!t was talked and then it was off home.

WINTER CAMP – Raincliff – 29 June-1st July
We are still waiting for the novel to be release from BRICK SHEITHOUSE about this top notch weekend. One of the best ever I’ve been on!

Go’N Down’s Bouncy Balls Run – 24th June
As a warm up to Winter Camp we descended on the Linwood Squash Club for a night of extreme activity! Would this be the night you actually saw RLD run?? Wait and see!

Well, some of us like SMALL BLACK and RLD just wanted to get on the squash court and slog it out but instead GO’N DOWN sent us off out into the darkness of Linwood and Bromley round some of the munted streets, dodging pot-holes and orange cones. Round a few streets and then to the Bromley Park for a PS. Chaffing at the bit some of us just wanted to get back to the Squash courts and get on the court. The runners tried to take the pack abit further down Pages Rd but RLD sniffed the smell of sweaty bodies from the Squash Courts and head On Home.

Pairs were drawn and on the court for the battle of the sexes. There seemed to be a lot of laughing, screaming, abusing the Refs and not a lot of Lets called. For those that didn’t know the rules a Let is called when you think you’re in danger of hitting your opponent! That rule kinda went out the window pretty quick. Some Hashers who said they could play good squash were bloody useless and some who had never picked a racket up in their life showed signs of future Champions!

RLD ran rings around KLINGON, BRICK SHEITHOUSE beat up OCTAPUSSY and TASTE and EMDEF created a lot of noise from their court (they were on the other one from KLINGON and RLD’s where RLD was kicking KLINGON’s butt.

It was a fun filled night which I am sure there were a few the following day that had “Squash Butt”. OO7 commented he could hardly move!

RLD & KTT showed a few how it was all done and after fines and before food RLD and SMALL BLACK had the battle of the sexes – RLD coming out the winner.

I hope many of you spotted GO’N DOWN’s name up on the Club Champion board at the club.

A round of fines with RLD getting The Stick for kicking KLINGON’s arse. Then it was into a feed of pizzas.

Overall, a fantastic night. Well done GO’N DOWN for choosing to do another run with a difference.